Diagnosis Code 296.64

Alien on a Mission

Natalia — Tue, 10 May 2011 04:13:51 +0000

From an old journal — I have no idea what was going on that day…

I’m a human experiment. I want to see the purple winged elephants fly and dance because I am one of them. People think that I am a person, but I am an alien on a research mission on this pathetic planet called Earth. My superiors will make the ultimate decision to annihilate this planet of just let it execute its own fate.

What It’s Like to Have Shock Therapy

Natalia — Tue, 22 Mar 2011 20:03:15 +0000

I just published a new Squidoo lens about my experience with ECT, check it out here: What It Is Like to Have Shock Therapy.

Bipolar Tips on Squidoo

Natalia — Thu, 23 Dec 2010 10:55:46 +0000

Last month I wrote a Squidoo lens with a few tips on managing Bipolar Disorder and preventing relapse. Here’s the link to it: Riding the Bipolar Roller Coaster.

Makes sense…

Natalia — Thu, 28 Jan 2010 23:15:23 +0000

USATODAY.com News – Top Stories – Man testifies he killed Kansas abortion doctor

Very pro life…

Natalia — Sun, 03 Jan 2010 04:02:39 +0000

I am not constrained by what is. Or by what you think is, anyway.

I am not compliant. I am a rebel.

I do not want to be spoon fed thoughts to think.

Reactions to Some of Today’s Headlines

Natalia — Tue, 29 Dec 2009 20:28:24 +0000

Headline: “Public option may be dropped from final health care bill”
I say: — “Health Insurance Companies Rejoyce: More People Allowed to Buy into a Severely Broken System”

Headline: “China Ignores Appeals, Executes Briton”
I say: — “Stop Doing Business with China Already”

Headline: “Rep. Mark Kirk’s sexual orientation questioned in GOP opponent’s ad”
I say: — “And Why Should it Matter?”

Headline: “E. Coli O157:H7 Outbreak Results in Beef Recall for 248,000 Pounds of Meat”
I say: — “And the Packages had the USDA Mark of Inspection on Them”

Headline: “Exposure to tobacco smoke leads to emphysema”
I say: — “And the News Is?”

Headline: “Pot-Stuffed Teddy Bear Found at Calif. Toy Store”
I say: — “Just Legalize It Already”

Go ahead, hate me. Homicide grants more compassion than suicide.

merry xmas

Natalia — Fri, 25 Dec 2009 18:19:15 +0000

’tis the season
screw the reason
let’s stuff our faces
then curse this day

Thoughts

Natalia — Mon, 21 Dec 2009 18:25:02 +0000

My thoughts are tortuous, bizarre, loud, scary;

Sometimes there’s beauty in them.

water… please…

Natalia — Mon, 14 Dec 2009 20:17:16 +0000

i am all over the place right now my bedroom is a mess the check engine light just came on and i need to tell glenn about it and i did not make that phone call but i made sure to wrap the handset and my note around it with mailing tape. my main coping skill is running but writing helps me as well. i sometimes wonder whether i’ll ever feel normal again but of course, what is normal? i tried to make a mobius strip last night but the paper i used was not wide enough and then the ends came unglued anyway. i’m reading that book for the second time. i always am impressed at how the works of godel escher and bach are so intertwined and woven together like the web of a lonely thirsty spider. it just lies there oblivious of the human hand that ruthlessly executes its fate. she was a happy spider, after all.

Another Sleepless Night

Natalia — Sun, 13 Dec 2009 11:25:51 +0000

My body is so tired it feels like it doesn’t exist anymore. When I lie down it doesn’t matter what position I settle myself in. I feel like I am floating about my bedroom, I’m just thought. The thoughts don’t stop, but the body is calm. I cannot feel any of it nor can I feel my own breathing, so it feels like I do not have a body.

Sitting at my desk I am aware of structures in the room that do not exist. I feel the presence of a wall and fireplace right behind me, that aren’t here. My peripheral vision sees them, but when I turn around they are not there.